Processing Buddhism

Once in while I think about whom I was before I met Buddhism. I was the typical agnostic, nonreligious atheist that most philosophy students tend to be. So what happened, did I see the light? Well not really. I’ve not converted in any traditional sense of the word, and I still have some of the mindset that I picked up through high school and at University. But at the same time, I do follow the eightfold path as best I can, I meditate regularly, and study Buddhism when time allows. But one significant change has materialised, without any effort. Now I believe (in something). I’ve come to the realisation that the way we (westerners) think and describe the universe, via logic and scientific proof, and dismiss what cannot be explained within that framework, is unsound or unfulfilling. Either you try and prove or refute anomalies or e.g. the existence of God, or you just simply believe, “problem” solved. But belief is not that simple, well not to me anyway. I don’t believe in an omnipresent, omnipotent God, distinct from myself. I do however believe that every being has the potential to gain insight and true understanding (knowledge) of any mystery or anything, for itself, and by itself. Can this knowledge be communicated to others? I don’t think (believe) so. So what is that knowledge worth, if it is only something that you can discover, but never share? I think the key issue here is to understand that it is the process of insight, the process of gaining knowledge that is important, not knowledge itself, or the end result. In fact, I believe that there is no “end result”, only process. So what about Nibbana (Nirvana)…I don’t honestly know, I’m still in the process of figuring that one out…